"They" applies more to senior than to middle managers. When they get ratty or annoyed, they often don't really mean it.
Let's begin with the basics. There are 3 types of person in the world:
- Those for whom the job comes first, regardless of who suffers or indeed who does it.
- Those who believe you should care for your people first and only do the job within such comfort zones.
- Those who don't care about the job or the people, so long as they are in control.
The latter category is the most dangerous. These are the politicians and the senior managers of the world and they achieve their position through a craving for power. The nature and success of both the people and the job are irrelevant, so long as they have the whip hand.
Many, many tactics are employed to enforce this. Getting angry is just one of them. A bit of well-placed rage can work wonders on the vulnerable and the more sensitive - which typically includes everybody else.
However, standing up to them will not break the facade. Maintaining a show of strength in all weathers is paramount to them. You just have to see it for what it is - play-acting - and take it in your stride.